


Connections

by SpicyAngst



Category: Everyman HYBRID
Genre: A Vinny/HYBRID Christmas but with even more plot, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Christmas Party, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, I made this for me but ya'll can have some wish fulfillment too, Lots of OC stuff, Multi, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, Original Character(s), Psychological Horror, Sibling Bonding, Swearing, Trauma, What If? Scenarios, as a treat, college kids having fun, college kids promptly regretting it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-01-25 09:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyAngst/pseuds/SpicyAngst
Summary: its a small world after all....or in which one door opens another when Alex invites someone to that fateful Christmas party.
Relationships: Evan (Everyman HYBRID)/Original Character(s), Evan/Stephanie (Everyman HYBRID), HABIT/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 15





	1. callcards

_ Jamie realized that she was feeling out of place. _

_ It was an unfamiliar feeling. Under more common circumstances she would have been overjoyed to spend her Christmas Eve with new friends. Under more common circumstances she’d be thriving in this merriment, jingling a store bought jingle bell in the air to the quiet music without a care. There were drinks, and video games and gifts being shared and mocked and appreciated and she was… in the background. _

_ Whatever was holding her back she couldn’t explain. The closeness of the people around her must have been throwing her off. It was a genuine, and safe closeness, bonding these strangers and familiar faces like super glue. Jamie hadn’t experienced a closeness like it with anyone but her family and, of course, her reason for showing up. _

_ Speaking of the happy bastard, across the room from her view of the couch, she watched a camera wave into Alex’s smiling face. _

“Alright, everybody say hi!”

Gaping before the workers was the rest of the red and blue Wendy’s, lined with giant booths and blank chairs. A sprinkling of people occupied them. Some shifted in their seats at the shockingly cold leather and others leaned over their tables with their phones in their faces. Through the windows, whatever was left of the setting sunlight painted their faces and revealed the meandering dust in the air. The twilight outside made the building sleepy, and cast an azure shadow over everything the light touched.

It was a lovely backdrop for the big fat middle finger in her face. 

“—and I’m not gonna be cheated outta my meal by a little Wendy’s clerk!”

A burned out cashier grimaced into her baggy uniform, far past tolerating the customer cursing her family for the broken frosty machine. It seemed that her manager wasn’t within hearing aid distance either. She’d have to talk this woman down from her ledge before she started jumping to any more conclusions. And especially before she scared away any customers. 

_ “God forbid Mrs Warner hears a damn thing but the sound of losing money. _” She hissed to herself.

Manicured hands slammed down on the counter. The cashier flinched.

“What di’jou just say to me, young lady?”

Seeming unfazed, the cashier took a deep breath. She’d been trained for people like this. As long as she didn’t lose her cool, she wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

“Excuse me ‘mam,” She answered. “We’re all _ very _ sorry about the inconvenience, but our repairman will not be back until tomorrow. We have several other options for sale if you’re still interested.” The hand came flying back near her face, as if to wipe away her words.

“Fucking—!” The cashier’s eyebrows quirked. “I don’t care about your other options, little miss attitude. All I wanted is my damn ice cream!”

“I understand that miss, but if you continue to cause disruption, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

If half the restaurant wasn’t listening in already, they were then. A small family of three got up to leave the scene before there were any real issues. The secondhand embarrassment radiating from the neighboring cashier was enough for the whole building. Not to mention the other sensible customers. But they couldn’t grimace. They had to stay quiet. Unbiased. Company policy and all. It grew silent, with the only sounds in the building being bubbling grease and steerish huffing of the angry customer.

“You guys get my order wrong, drown my ‘burger’ in lettuce, and give me the wrong cup size. ‘Least you can do is have a working frosty machine!”

From the kitchen, an older worker piped up, 

“We’re very sorry but Wendy’s employees are not trained or encouraged to tamper with company property. Only trained professionals are allowed to touch a broken machine. It should be up and working by tomorrow. Would you like us to redo your order?” This was blatantly ignored.

“I mean shit! Can’t you all do your jobs and get it working by yourselves?” Thirty pairs of wary eyes shifted to the registers. “Isn’t that _ your _ responsibility, ‘Miss?’”

The patient expression on the cashiers face disappeared. Somewhere distant, a coworker warned,

“Jamie...”

Fortunately, she didn’t have the time to snap back. Before she lost her cool, a broad shouldered woman stepped in from behind the leaky soda machine. It was quiet. Everyone expected the woman to get in line and realize what was happening, but she only waved towards the registers. The quiet was broken by the sound of a phone alarm through someone’s jeans. On queue, Jamie let out an abrupt sigh.

Fresh from the hospital, Kim Dawson came to retrieve her baby sister from her last shift of the day. 

Which, usually, wasn’t so euphoric to the staff as it was then. Kim always picked Jamie up after working, what with the younger of the two being a little short on cars of her own. But this woman must have been going on about a broken machine for _ hours _, (a necessary exaggeration for a gaggle of underpaid Wendy’s employees.) Each of the workers relaxed into their uniforms with relieved groans and sighs of their own. Kim. Kim was good. Kim will fix this. At least before her stupid sister can blow up.

A pair of blue eyes winked at the registers from across the room. “Ready to go, James?”

The cashier broke into a grin in spite of herself.

“So ready.” She muttered.

Watching this unfold, the angry customer stood in a bewildered daze, looking to be questioning who had interrupted her rant. Her eyes met with Kim’s. They narrowed in somewhat realization. Then, she turned on the girl.

“Hey, little missy, we’re not done here.” Absently regarding the woman with a glance, Jamie pulled her uniform over her head, taking a backpack out from under the counter. “Excuse me!” Everything remained silent. “You know what I can’t believe this…” She started fumbling for her phone, opening up the camera and shoving it in their faces. “Is this really the kind of restaurant you all run—?”

Tugging a fistful of her uniform sleeve into the pack, Jamie only murmured, “Miss you can’t film in here.” She winced away from the flash in her eyes.

“I can film in here whenever I want! I’m getting proof of your _ horrid _ behavior!”

The declaration wasn’t taken very serious. A little concerned, Jamie tapped a nearby coworker to ask, “_ You’ll all be fine without me? _” 

He grinned and shook her hand from his shoulder.

“You know damn well I get out in an hour. Go on and get outta here while you still can,” He snickered. They shared a quick smile. 

With that, Kim hopped the counter after her.

“H-hang on!” The customer protested. 

“Miss, I’d still be glad to redo your order if you want.”

“_ Excuse _ me!” She still called.

The rest of the staff went and returned to their posts, some looking rather amused at the sisters’ indifference. With big sister around and Mrs Warner neck deep in her nap, they had nothing left to worry about. Customers got the essage, following their servers’ example. The pair darted out the back door. An angry phone camera shook in the air after them. “I-I wanna speak with your _ manager _!” 

Clunk! 

Jamie shut the door behind her. A final gust of cold hit her square in the face, reddening her cheeks and nose. In a hurry, she fumbled for the car keys, pausing to wipe at the sudden stream from her runny nose. Her expression soured at the ugly display. Freaking New Jersey…

Something firm pressed against the crown of her head. 

She relaxed into her sister’s hand.

“You know you ought’a stop getting into arguments with people all the time.”

The younger girl rolled her eyes, jamming the keys into the ignition switch. She didn’t answer till the freezing pickup had properly shaken to life.

“Like _ I _ should be the one apologizing.”

“When they’re your customers you kinda have to. You can’t afford being like that,” Kim put in. Her hand came away. “I get it though. I know I don’t work in retail anymore but... I get the anger. I really do.”

Jamie leaned over the wheel, peeking out into the street. Lights were starting to go out in the stores. Slowly, she turned to check the time. On the dashboard, a set of green letters read 7:02. In the background she could vaguely make out the lights of other businesses through a line of trees. The cashier sighed out of her nose.

“Well,” The AC came on with a flick of her wrist, “_ I _ thought I did pretty good for some pissy little kid.”

Kim leaned back in the passenger seat, shrugging.

“And you did. ‘Wasn’t saying you were unprofessional.”

The younger girl laughed. Professional. It was still so strange to be described as anything but a beat down teenager with a mouth, _ which was exactly what she happened to be _ . It was still so strange to think about the fact that she was an _ adult. _ Well. _ Barely _, but still. She paid bills, and lived with someone other than her mother. She made money, and drove cars. Crazy, she thought. 

“I dunno. I’m not upset or anything.” Jamie paused. “Nah, yeah I am upset. It was just stupid. Stupid for a stupid reason.” The tap of her fingers on the wheel suddenly quieted her. Her hands wrapped around the stick shift and pulled. Then there was a small click. And another sigh. “...Thanks for picking me up a little earlier. ‘Saved me a lot of trouble.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Yeah. Now let’s get outta here before that bitch finds out which car is ours.”

They pulled out of the dimming parking lot. Then the sisters went about their business and began asking about each other’s day. 

As they did, the slow moving glimpses of other cars passed them by, along with the yellow windows of closing shops. Harsh street lights occasionally passed over their faces, decorating their irises black and white in the cozy dark of the pickup. They vented about work; one listening as the other complained about a problematic coworker or manager. Eventually, the memory of the irritating customer would fade into the background. The ambiance of the rattling truck and her sisters voice placated her busy mind for the next three intersections. Or was it four? Five, six, seven more stop lights passed. The road bled into the highway with ease. Not that she really paid attention. She knew the way too well. Jamie just kept her eyes on the road. 

Then Kim brought out a flash of red and green.

“Sooo,” she started, “Tommy and June sent their Christmas cards a little early this year…” 

A delighted grin suddenly stretched the youngest’s face at the very mentioning of her brother.

“Cards?” She asked, “as in more than one?” 

The reaction gets a smile out of her sister. Kim set the contents of a red envelope on the driver’s lap with a whistle. At the next light the driver scanned over the poorly laminated piece of cardstock, gleeful to see her brother, her sister-in-law and especially her beautiful nieces in... reindeer onesies. She strained to see it in the dark.

Reindeer onesies?

A short laugh escaped her at the unusual sight. 

“I know right?” Kim snickered. 

She nodded, flipping the card over and back in her hands. It was almost impressive; how much June had watered Tom down since the girls were born. When he was Jamie’s age, he would have rather eaten tapeworms than be seen in _ any _ variation of pajamas. Let alone let himself be forever immobilized in a family Christmas photo. Yet there his family all stood, posing cute for the camera like a quartet of Suessian whos. Tom grinned almost painfully at his wife’s side. Like a Grinch in sheep’s clothing.

Underneath the happy display were the words, ‘Merry Christmas!’

In no particular fashion, she set the papers back on the dash as soon as her vision went green.

“What’s the other one?”

“An invitation.”

Her eyebrows raise, intrigued. 

“For… us? I’m assuming?”

Big sister grinned again, taking the paper and reading in a posh, nonsensical accent, “_To aunties Kimberly and Jamie Dawson. You are invited to spend a jolly Christmas Eve with The Dawson Clan._” They dissolved into giggles at the general un-Tommy-ishness of the letter. Who says ‘clan’ nowadays? Poor June must have written it herself, they realized. Oh, how that merry little woman got by in that busy little house of theirs was still a family mystery. Everyone loved her all the more for it. Still, it was funny to bask in the ridiculousness. Kim held up a finger through the laughter. “Wait, wait. It gets better. Ahem… _F-from four to twelve thirty, join us for an evening of dinner, gift swapping and plenty of ‘wintery fun?’ We can’t wait to see you there. Bring your sweaters!_ _All our love, Tom, June, Beth and Emily Dawson._” That final line made the truck burst.

They must have laughed for ten minutes straight. And when they came to the next stop and caught a glimpse of a visibly concerned passerby, they were sent right back into their fit. Not that it was any concern to them. Maybe a little out of the ordinary, but hell, it was almost Christmas. Perhaps the holiday fever was getting them a little giggly. After a day in their respective hell holes, they certainly deserved a good laugh. So after things were getting a little loud, it took Kim’s strong adult will to calm them down.

The truck turned a slow corner.

“Ugh,” Down the street, she dimly recognized, was the silhouette of their apartment building. The parking lot lights hadn’t yet been turned on. That or the bulbs had all gone dead. And suddenly Jamie’s face fell. “I dunno.” Kim glanced at her.

“You dunno?”

“Yeah, I just… “ Then she hesitated, backpedalling, “the party sounds like it’ll be great.”

The other seemed unconvinced.

“But..?”

Surer of herself, Jamie shook her head. ‘But’ nothing. Everything will be fine and fun. She couldn’t wait. Looking suspicious, Kim tried to take her word for it.

A whirring, whining sound was heard as the car hauled itself lazily, like a large, unfit cat, over the small hill of the last street. Crawling into the shadow of the other cars, the pickup came to a shuddering halt, wedged unevenly between its neighbors. Jamie yanked the keys from their resting place. 

None of them moved. Instead each sister sank farther into her seat.

“I think I left the groceries out.”

Jamie turned in her seat, worried. “Even the eggs?”

“Of course not.” The other snipped. “I’m not stupid.”

“Mm.”

“‘Mm.’” Kim mocked, smiling. “Real wordsmith, aren’t you?”

Jamie snickered to herself as the inner lights came back on with her sister’s prompt exit.

But the youngest didn’t follow. She listened to the shutting door shake the vehicle. It made a jittering, buggish sound that she felt vibrate in her chest. Taking in the details of the car for the thousandth time, and maybe more feelings than she would usually. After all, a memory was being made. A memory in her quiet car on the last night of her quiet life. Not that she’d know it then. No. No, she was all too wrapped up in her quiet car to care. Her head craned up against the seat, settling comfortably mid-stretch. Before she knew it there were moths settling on the windshield, just as the lights above her began to fade out. Upon coming to this realization they promptly fluttered out of view. With the new dark and absent moths came a cold blue hue. The new color brought her farther into her head. Into a dark, deep sleepy sea of blue. Almost… like it was reaching out to her.

“_And now I come to you!” _

The girl jolted in her seat. 

“_With open arms! _” 

A snore became a snort. She remembered where she was. 

With a loud and hearty ‘_ fuck! _ ,’ Jamie got to forcing herself up from the headrest. Almost in protest, she heard her neck crack in two different places. _ “Nothing to hide! _ ” Squinting around in the dark, her hands slapped over her sweater pockets. She heard the clink of nail on fabric and plastic underneath. _ “I mean what I sa _ —_” _

“'E-ello..?”

On the other side of the line, the guy sounded suddenly embarrassed.

“Oh man, did I wake you up—?”

Glaring to see the number, Jamie waved her limp hand with a grimace.

“No, no, you’re fine, kid, uh..” She moved to scratch her neck. Without the streetlights, checking the number on her own wouldn’t exactly help, so she sputtered dumbly. “ Uh... Sorry, wh-who is this? Exactly?” Her question was met with a shy little chuckle, and an instant,

“Summer break? Carrot buddies?” He tried.

The heaviness of her eyelids lessened. Slowly, she moved to open the truck door, gathering her things.

“Alex.” She realized. “Aw jeez, Alex...” Both kids let out their own labored sighs, blissfully relieved to hear each other's voices. An ache reignited in each of their chests. It’d been months. And nothing had split them up like the big move. She clutched the humming phone like a lifeline. Her voice broke a little as she asked, “How are you, buddy?”

He hesitated. “Okay…” Scepticism quickly graced her face. “Well, I-I think Sparky misses you, though.” She paused to smile at the thought of his fat little dog still waiting for her back in town. The few times she’d met her she was a complete sweetheart. No doubt she only got sweeter. And fatter. Jamie pressed her cheek against the screen.

“It’s hell without you guys here. Living with your sister isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” 

“Hm...” He sounded smug. ‘_ Oh really? Hm. Where have I heard that before? _’

Jamie smirked.

“Don’t ‘hm’ at me, kid.” 

‘Well, how’re you?” He asked.

She let out a weary groan. “Back from work and ready to _ eat _.”

Alex laughed. 

“Yeah, me too.”

The girl turned on her heel, bringing her things into the complex. It was somehow colder inside. A face of surprise followed her down the hall to the elevator. “Back from ‘work?’”

“Ah,” He grimaced, as if the sound of the phone shaking back and forth wasn’t indicative enough. “No, no.”

“Pftt… I dunno why.”

He sounded indignant. “You know the band still needs me.”

“You’re still with them!?” The button to the second floor clicked beneath her finger, nearly missing it’s destination after her exclamation.

“We’ve got something special, James.” He mused.

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” Jamie snorted, stepping out into the hallway, “Special. Your ‘special’ leads still on my shit list.” Around her, a dreary beige corridor opened up to show her each and every cream-white door. The second to last door wasn’t too far away. Their building was slightly smaller than the rest of their block’s complexes. A light gust of air blew against her friend’s mic. At her apartment door at last, she wondered aloud, “Outside again?” He mumbled a no, mentioning a bed and room. She got the message. Wind or sigh, Jamie could appreciate the noise, slumping against her doorway. Especially as her neighbors slammed against the thin walls, and shouted across their apartments like chimps in a cage or whatever was the human equivalent. Prisoners in a cell? She shook her busy head. “Hold on Al.” Jamie opened the door. 

Already stowing away the grocery bags into the cupboards, Kim was kneeling down in the kitchen. Dropping her things, the youngest went to help. “So what else?” She continued, giving her sister a look. Said sister was just grateful for the uncharacteristically eager assistance. “What’s been going on back there?” 

“Uh. I-it’s…” The phone seemed to fidget around. “It’s all been good.”

“Doubtful.”

“Hey,” he protested, “I can't describe everything over the phone. I mean.” There was a pause. And he made a tiny noise of surprise. ‘Ow!’ Shooing someone away. A distant but recent memory sparked in her mind of the other curly haired Koval boy. Kind, quiet Jeff was with him on the other line. His voice came back a little clearer. “That’s part of why I called. Actually.”

“Actually.” She echoed.

Alex whispered, “Oh man.”

“What?”

“What do you mean what?”

“What's wrong?”

“You said actually. What? What’s actually?”

“Oh no,” She snorted. “I was repeating what… you said.”

“O-oh right, right,” Alex suddenly dissolved into his choppy little laugh. His audience smiled, readying herself for the question. Knowing Al, he’d probably prepped for the phone call on his own. “Um.” He began, “A-are you free Christmas Eve?”

Deliberation in the Dawson household took the rest of the night to end.

This was rather out of the ordinary for the Dawson girls, who were usually quick to act and quicker to learn. The dilemma presented to Jamie gave her lots to consider.

She went to bed early, stuffing her miserable face full of half the leftover fajitas and crawling into her cozy little twin bed. Red rims crowned her plum undereyes. It had been a rather tiring day indeed. In spite of her impulsivity Jamie hadn’t said anything to Alex, knowing he’d immediately revoke the invite and demand she go love her family. And she agreed. Needless to say, the thought of giving up a Christmas party with her brother (who happened to be in snowy, beautiful _ Maryland _) was difficult. And yet… 

Jamie was stuck with a decision to make. And she hated making decisions.

Two Christmas Eves to attend on opposite ends of the upper east coast. At one end waited a smiling family in an extravagant Baltimore estate and at the other waited the best friend she’d ever had and a small, ambiguous party. Alex hadn’t said much else other than his ‘brother’s friends’ would try to make it. Friends. She didn’t know Jeff well enough to make an estimate as to who that category would fall over. Looking at the pros and cons, the choice seemed so obvious. Still, she buried her face in her nearby pillow. She was thinking. Begging even. Begging for her stupid brain to cook up a solution in its shiny stupid brain kitchen. She could remember wringing her hands at the headboard till at least midnight, mouthing ‘_ c’mon, Jamie, c’mon _ ’ like a mantra. As though the decision mattered. It _ was _only a Christmas party.

Her quiet chanting could have been what let her sleep; the words taking the place of sheep or white noise. She grew tired of it once she grew tired, and sank gratefully into her sheets. Although, there _ was _ a draft that night. It billowed in from her window where the noises of passing cars became audible blurs. And the moment her cheek felt flush with the massive pillow wedged into the crick of her neck, she saw blue.

Not black or the deep red of her eyelids. Just blue. Navy blue. Some part of her knew the color wasn’t whatever was regulation for ‘vision standards.’ She didn’t do anything about it. She couldn’t. Everything was just blue. It was as though she was stuck in slow motion as her senses returned to her. Like she’d been coming back from a long extensive surgery and the anesthetic was taking a while to wear off. The smudges of navy and what she believed was gyrating cornflower blue came back to her in clumps. Her eyes felt heavy. Jamie strained to keep them open, feeling as though she were looking at the sun and couldn’t stand to stare for too long. Eventually the feeling went away.

At first she thought she was looking at a barcode.

_ Weirdly creative dream _, supposed her remaining consciousness. What barcodes had to do with the cold tendrils of wind tickling her cheeks and lips; she had no idea. She could only feel and see afterall. Again and again, the ice of wind crept between the curtain of her hair and the nape of her neck. Weaving, smacking, investigating. Sweeping friendlily over her hands and face. Stinging her frostbitten nose. She could have sworn, as the rest of her body came into existence, that one of them tucked her hair behind her ear. She didn’t have time to think about these particular gusts. At once, her body stumbled forward, and she was aware of everything at once. The wind, colds, the mud all over her legs and the gaping woods of black and white. 

Jamie clutched at her chest, gasping at the chill.

The woods by the back of their high school were as pristine as she remembered. Yawning birches covered the north border of the campus for as far as the eye could see. Jamie hugged her newly materialized arms and looked around her. Evening. Probably spring from the look of the puddles. Her memory told her how much closer she was to the school, but she couldn’t look upon the shit hole in its full glory. She didn’t try. She almost didn’t want to. The faint outlines of prison-grey concrete in the corners of her eyes were enough to confirm her suspicions. She was back in town. And behind the trees, she could see herself running beside someone in a thick striped beanie. 

This Jamie wasn't too different from the one watching the scene unfold, which is not to say that Present Jamie wasn't thoroughly freaked out. It was the Jamie that Alex had met in the spring. The Jamie that had chopped off her hair and stuck the blunt ends into bright green crazybands. The same Jamie who moved away as soon as she graduated.

The observing girl’s heart sank at the memory.

Both of them were running away from her with their laughter. Too far away to make out any exact details of their silhouette but close enough that Jamie could hear herself yelp, “_ C’mon! _” 

As they did, present-Jamie felt her body jolt forward after them. 

She let out a yelp, grabbing at her stomach at the sudden strain of her weight. 

One point of pain in her belly arced her through the air at a frightening speed, as though an invisible fishing line had been anchored in her gut. The string of curses she wanted to come out of her agape mouth didn’t. She couldn't scream. The forest remained silent aside from the tendrils of wind dragging her through the air. Like a ragdoll. Three seconds of blurred trees and panicked breathing went by before a shadow passed over her face. A calming, deep blue. It glazed over her eyes and took the places of the willing, dreamy haze one would usually be experiencing in a dream. The same haze she hadn’t felt the whole while she’d been stuck in this chilly place. Her vibrating heart was at once locked in a soothing vice. Something in the very back of her head told her fervently to relax again. Just as she’d been seconds ago. Simple. _ Right, Jamie _?

Her form zipped off faster than ever as her body went limp and her eyes shut. 

A ‘pop’ snapped her back into a brand new place, and the dream went on as normal. Conscious and right beside Alex’s smiling face. 

“You’ve got some of the weirdest eyes I ever saw on a person, Al.”

Present-Jamie whipped around to see herself looking deep in thought, obviously very frightened by her unwilling reposition. Neither of them noticed the disheveled woman sitting between them.

Instead, Alex answered embarrassedly, “Weird how?” 

Present-Jamie began to recognize this conversation.

“Blue. Like cornflower blue sometimes.”

“I don’t know what that means…”

Jamie rolled her eyes. “It's a nice look on you, bud.”

And Present-Jamie began to feel like she was intruding. But the wind at her spine kept her from leaving. Just below her view of Alex’s eyes, the conversation intruder could see the loose folds of her tank top pushed to her middle with the strain. Whatever was holding her here needed her to watch this. _ But I've already lived it. _She thought indignantly.

As though hearing her thoughts, her head was pushed by the cold to stare at herself. To take in everything little detail.

The boy sounded flustered as he replied, “Uhuh… I’m thinking you're the weirdo here, Jamie.”

“Jesus, I said your eyes were blue not we should move in together, you nerd.” As Alex flushed, the girl in spiky pigtails whined, “Why'd you bring me out here anyway? It’s getting cold.”

Closest to him, Present-Jamie opened her mouth to agree and found she was silenced once more.

“I had something to say to you. Cause I saw you talking with that girl earlier and she kept, like, banging on your desk.”

The girl frowned knowingly. 

“...What girl?” 

“Bigger, kinda pale. Big blue nails.”

“Heather…” She trailed off. “Heather ‘busybody’ Burland?”

Alex looked impressed.

“A nickname.”

Both Jamies rolled their eyes.

“A well earned nickname.”

“Well, what was she saying? I mean she almost grabbed you out of your seat.” Jamie flinched. A hand came up to her arm absentmindedly. Touching the bruise where _ she _ put her cow claw hand. “Why did you put up with her like that, James? I’m sorry I couldn’t get up, I would’a helped if Laden wasn't bugging me.” 

“I dunno.” 

Past and present Jamie knew what she’d said. The whole school knew at that point. Even Jeff. She didn’t know either of them very well then, but he took the time to tell her himself that Alex would be a little distant. He himself was a little distant. No reason why though. Not that she knew of. Not until fifth period. Jamie had guessed Alex would eventually tell her himself. Before Heather fucking Burland broke news she didn’t have the right to break.

“Lying again, Jamie.” He tried to scoot closer to her, phasing into the uncomfortable spectral woman’s hip. On the other side of her lap, the other Jamie just looked at him. With the utmost concern and sympathy opening up her eyes just a little bit further for her friend. “What for, huh?” He went to touch her arm. She put her hand over his. Not romantically. Not to be weird. But in mourning. He stared at her hand, caught off guard at the sudden contact. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Alex pressed with a fading grin. 

Present Jamie bowed her head, and listened for her words to begin again. _ When oh when will I so gracefully phrase this? _She thought bitterly.

“Al… did your parents really croak?”

The air got colder around them.

He laughs, confused at the terrible question. “What do you mean did my parents croak?” She grabbed at his sleeve, crying,

“I mean did that car crash really… _ kill them _? I m-mean I-I’m so sorry— I didn’t know, oh god are you and Jeff gonna be okay? Do you need anywhere to stay, can we help you?” He shook her hand from his jacket. “W-why didn’t you t-tell me?” The smile is gone.

“...Jamie. that’s not funny.”

“What do you mean it’s not funny?” The girl croaked. Her bubbling tears loosen his expression. “A-are you telling me that Jeff was lying about something happening?”

“I mean it’s not _ funny.” _ She inched away from him. “Playing mean jokes on me like that. Jeez. M-my mom and dad are perfectly fine back at home!” He gets up and walks over to a nearby tree, leaning against it. He stays there, getting his bearings. Thinking about what he’s been told. From her angle, Present-Jamie can even see a twinge of recognition. Remembrance. He’d had this conversation before. Suddenly, Alex whipped around to look at her, barking, “Wait. Wait. What did _ Jeff _ say?”

Jamie struggled with her words. “I-i dunno.”

“No! No, you’re lying again. Why are you lying!?”

“But I’m not!” She insists.

As she does, her invisible neighbor watches the scene unfold. The fight in the woods that could have been a nice little walk if not for her naivety. Her eyes flit across the clearing when her best friend pushes her away. Looking at her like a kicked puppy. Present-Jamie grimaces. 

Jamie never knew why Jeff didn’t just tell her himself. Sooner or later someone as vile as Heather would come running to spill the beans. Rumors spread like wildfire in that school, he knew that. He was there for her freshman year! Jamie always wondered if it was because she didn’t know him as well. She hadn’t looked his parents in the eye for more than an hour. The few times she was over, she and Alex would always run upstairs and joke around and play video games in his room until eight. 

None of it would matter in the end. 

Present-Jamie watched the crying puddle of Koval and Dawson hunch over in mourning and confusion, unable to fight amongst themselves for long.

The scene rippled. She felt the weight in her gut dissipate. A low breath, the first she’d taken in what had to be an hour, pushed itself out of her gullet in a sound like wind and rain. A bubble of air blurred out the shapes of her rising double and friend. Bright light boxed her vision, closing in fast. Something like jingling filled the air when she was pushed back. Father and farther. The flash of a camera blinded the remnants of her fading sight. Then there was only white.

Minutes later, the December air tore Jamie from her sweat soaked mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Fun fact, this first chapter has been a year in the making because school kicked my teeth in and I completely forgot the whole thing I existed until a week ago. And tbh it shows lmao
> 
> So I hope this is well received by the starving fandom because it’ll be a miracle if I get the next chapter done by the end of the month. Feel free to post any comments or questions you have. I’m always glad to hear from readers. Have a nice day, and thanks again! (update nov8.19)
> 
> edit (nov27.19): sorry for the lack of main character interaction I promise we actually meet people soon!
> 
> \- :)


	2. christmas with the Kovals

The house was always impressive, even without the people living in it. A large, white suburban home with welcoming yellow windows. All the living room lights were on and a thin string of Christmas lights drooped from the door’s overhang. They painted the deck below an array of reds, greens and blues. On the wooden door hung a store-bought wreath of berries and fir branches with grainy flocking that blew away when you breathed out. Below it was a taped-on piece of notebook paper that read, “The chimney is currently closed.” An inside joke or an improvised home decoration, those who approached were never sure. It trembled in the chilly wind outside.

The steps up the stairs hadn’t been completely cleared of snow but Jamie managed to avoid any collateral shoe-damage, stepping carefully around the icy sleet marked by dirty bootprints. The cardboard box of goodies in her arms jostled about.

She stared out at the yard, beautiful in the glow of the streetlights and the cold blue air that came of a moonless night. Dew had settled atop of it all, sparkling like diamonds. Encouraging her to go on. She complied, inspecting the door and using the mat like she used to. It crunched under her feet.

With a deep breath, Jamie reached out to knock.

Her niece’s presents shipped fast. Not fast enough to get there before the news of her decision got to the Dawsons up north but the postal service must have been on it’s A game for the holidays. To her surprise, June wasn’t mad about it, more confused than anything. 

“Did you say a dream?”

Jamie was pulling her uniform on for her last work day until the twenty-seventh. The phone jostled under her jaw as she pushed in a leg. It strained against her foot.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, June, I really did want to go, you know. I know you’re working so hard on this thing but…” June hums over the other line. “I just… Had a feeling. And I haven’t seen Alex in months.”

The woman chuckled. For the posh accent Kim gave her in the car, June‘s voice was plain and sweet as apple butter. The tiny southern lilt she passed on to her daughters was the only thing fancy-sounding about her. 

“Oh, don’t you worry bout a thing. No ones gonna blame you for spending _ one _ Christmas with a friend. Plus, it’s an _ annual _party. There’s always next year, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How is that boy doing anyway? He’s the one from your old school, isn’t he?”

“He’s fine. S’far as I know. It was great to hear from him again.”

“That’s good.” She adjusts the phone. “Well, we’ll mail over our presents as soon as we can.” 

The girl hums.

“That’s sweet of you, June. You with the twins?”

“We’re just about to leave for school. Say hi, girls!”

A pair of voices piped up over the line. Jamie laughed and returned the greeting, getting to her feet to meet Kim at the door. She wasn’t there yet. 

“Speaking of presents,” she whispered, “don’t tell ‘em but they’re getting extra spoiled by Auntie Jamie this year. I hope it’s not a problem.” Jamie thought reproachfully back to the impressive haul of ToysRUs products she’d amassed with the remnants of her paycheck. Her room had been a graveyard of guilt and cellophane. The utter prospects of sending them all _ back _ before leaving for the Koval’s? She suppressed a shudder.

“Not at all.” The sweet voice chuckled. “My lips are sealed.”

Kim walked into the den in her scrubs. She motioned to the door.

“Welp, me and Kim are about to head out. I’ll talk to you later, June.” She grabbed her bag.

“Talk to you later. Bye! Girls, tell Auntie Jamie bye-bye!”

“_Bye Auntie!_ _Bye-bye!_”

Jamie smiled to herself. 

The call ended and the day was cake. Everyone smiled at each other. A lady that came in with her toddler told her she loved her hair. The toddler agreed. Laughs were shared on the steps in the back of the building that they called their break room. Her fellow cashier passed her a cigarette. It smelled faintly of oranges. She spat out the blunt end and went on with finishing a story. 

Leaving was easy but her belly twisted all the same. Mrs. Warner made them stay behind a little longer, giving a convoluted speech on what she expected when those dumb enough to use all their vacation days got back. (Which, in hindsight, wasn’t very many.) The others looked on in envious silence. It was a small price to pay for the smell of the air outside and the way it rattled her lungs. Someone clapped her on the shoulder. He wished her well.

Jamie shoved her hands into her jacket pockets when she saw Kim sitting in the truck bed.

“Got tired of waiting?” She asked, walking to the drivers side.

“Well when you take twenty minutes to get out of a place that’s been closed for fourty, what exactly do you want me to do?”

Kim hopped out and closed the trunk.

“Yeah I know. Sorry. Mrs Warner wanted to waste some precious time tonight, I guess.” Jamie sighed. 

Thus began a week-long waiting game of guessing and questions. What to wear, when to be there, what to bring, who to smile at. ‘Round Thursday she dove headfirst into a full-on Christmas craze, the relentless thought of the dream marking her every decision. And it annoyed the shit out of Kim. This lengthy process of preparing herself for a one off Christmas party that probably wouldn’t be worth a dime was downright obsessive. Kim reminded her everyday not to overdo it. And every moment apathy opened its mouth to agree, the part of her that she’d starved of attention and praise gnashed it’s yellowed teeth. Everything would have to be perfect. She had to convince herself giving up Baltimore would be worth it. Which was terrible, looking back. And showed more about her social situation than she’d care to admit.

It was also about pleasing Alex, her goal slowly becoming the betterment of her friend’s experience rather than her own as it should have been. But she was damned if she didn’t look good doing it. A game plan began formation. On the night of the party, she would be in the kitchen for the rest of the day, leaving two hours of self maintenance to spare. The recipe for her mother’s brownies was better committed to her memory than her own zip code. Without a hitch, Saturday morning rolled around to face a girl ready to kick adult-life ass. The presents Kim helped her wrap laid nestled safely between her jacket and wedges. Even inside, accompanied by the barely functional oven haze, her bones shuddered with anticipation. Shivers, shivers. They hadn’t left her since the night of her dream.

After Kim had taken the truck up north, Jamie decided a box and a purse on a bus to central Jersey would work as well as anything else. She found the seats comfortable for the most part. The only other person who got on was a sweet old woman with a cane. She told her, “Merry Christmas” and got off at the next stop. Jamie waved her goodbye from the bus window.

Once more she found herself at the helm of the Koval home. 

Knocking on the wood door and loosening the wreath’s fake snow onto her fist. She brought her hands back under the box, staring at the door in anticipation. The voices behind it sounded fun and kind. Happy to be there as she was. Her thoughts circled back to Alex yet again. She wondered how he’d react. She smiled as the handle turned.

A man in a Santa hat and glasses cracked the door. His eyebrows disappeared into the crown of white fleece.

“Hello? How can I help you?”

She smiled wider.

“Hi! I’m Jamie, uh, Alex’s buddy?”

“Oh, hey!” He opened the door wider. “That’s right. Alex, we’ve got someone at the door for you.” A hand emerged from the doorway. Behind it, a shout answered his call. “I’m Vinny. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Vinny.”

She shook it firm and looked around for her friend. An excited, choppy laugh came from behind ‘Vinny’s’ wide shoulders. Jamie felt someone drag her inside and hug her free arm. 

She squealed at the sudden rush, pausing to place her box on the nearby coffee table so she could hug him for real. Bony arms knocked against her own. Jamie felt a collar bone butt against her forehead and a warm heartbeat against her cheek. Cornflower blue eyes smiled down at her from a furry halo.

“Holy _ shit _, you’re huge!” Jamie exclaimed.

He pushed her face away with a small giggle.

“And you look like a girl again.”

She snorted.

“Alright Captain Voice-crack.” 

Alex bent helpfully when she reached up to adjust his hat. He turned to Vinny.

“Jamie was my friend in high school. Remember Vin?”

“Yeah, you told me, bud. It’s cool you invited her.” The man in glasses whistled at the kitchen. “Jeff! Your brother’s friend is here! Great to meet you… Jamie?”

“Jamie.” She nodded and waved a short goodbye when he crossed into the living room. She didn’t hear much from the room itself, gathering that the rest of the party must have been in the basement. The thought made her stomach twist with anticipation. At her side, Alex still held her by the arm, still smiling at her. 

“Good to see you missed me.” 

He let go.

“Well I haven’t had many other best friends to hang out with since you moved,” Alex said. She looked expectantly at him, waiting for a response. “Okay yeah, I missed you.”

“Theeere we go.”

Another tall boy in a Santa hat peeked into the small hallway and grinned sheepishly at her. “Hey there stranger.” She said.

“Long time no see,” he replied, pulling her into a half hug. She gave him a comforting squeeze, looking over at Alex who then glanced at his big brother. The box on the coffee table smelled strongly of chocolate. Jeff looked down at her. “What’s that, Jamie?”

She dropped his gaze. “I made brownies for the party, I hope it’s not too much of a hassle.

“Oh that was nice,” he smiled, “You didn’t have to.”

“It was nothing. Felt nice to make mom’s recipe again.” Alex pulled on her jacket. She and Jeff exchanged a look.

Alex tugged lightly again and Jamie let him pull her into the roomy basement. Into the party she’d been overhyping for days. Although the wimpy Christmas tree on the corner desk made her face fall, the instant atmosphere of cheer lifted her spirits. 

Jamie could count three people other than Alex that mingled around the tree and the couch. Only one other girl and two young men, one of them being Vinny from the door. All of them seemed to be a tad older than her. She looked on curiously from Alex’s side. _Jeff’s friends_, she assumed, glancing up at her own. He kept his eyes on the girl.

“Steph,” he said. Steph looked up, sitting a little taller when she saw the newcomer. The boy next to her grabbed a cookie from under the tree.

“Oh hello! Who’s this?” Steph asked. She talked fast.

Jamie waved and held out a hand. “Jamie. I’m Alex’s friend.” The girl took it gently.

“Good to meet you.”

“You too. I like your beanie, it looks nice.”

Steph smiled at her. The other boy held out a hand. 

“David.” He said through the last of his cookie. “Nice to meet you, Jamie.”

“Nice to meet you.” She repeated, beginning to sense a pattern. “Glad I got to be here. I’m not too late right?”

Alex shook his head, turning back to Steph.

“Where’s Evan?” He fell onto the couch’s chaise and Jamie sat at the edge. She listened to them talk, taking in the room she’d been in a dozen times before.

“Oh he’s upstairs. I think he said he wanted to get down the karaoke machine.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Since when do we have a karaoke machine?”

“Since ‘_ fuckin’ ever _’ according to him. I think he just needed an excuse to use the bathroom again.” Steph laughed.

The newcomer blinked. “Who’s Evan?”

“Jeff’s best friend,” Alex explained. “One of the two, at least. You’ll see him soon.” Jamie hummed, and let the night continue. Steph was a delight to be around, a generally shy but kind person that she got on well with. She explained that she’d been staying with the boys for a good few months. The reason stayed up in the air but Jamie didn’t want to ask anything too personal. Vinny had been standing near the tree fixing a camera on it’s charging port. When she asked, he told her something about a youtube channel, frowned, and got back to work whistling to himself. Alright.

Of the menagerie of characters she’d met so far, despite liking them all, she couldn’t say she really clicked with anyone. She always got on with people but the kick of familiarity just wasn’t coming. Alex must have been radiating too much to tell kinsmanship from politeness. She hoped so, realizing how clingy they were around each other. It had been a long five months.

She wound up helping Jeff unload her box of chocolate in the kitchen since he had yet to organize everybody’s gifts around the tree. The lights made the counters look cleaner than they were.

“So what have you been up to?” He asked her, trying to find her a knife to cut the squares.

Her eyes raise from the bubbled valley of chocolate.

“Oh nothing special.” Jeff handed her the knife and walked to the other side of the island. “I got a job in retail,” she sighed, “I’m living with my sister. College could be right around the corner, if I keep at it.”

He hummed to himself, watching her divy up the squares. The bits on the knife came up chewy and dark. “Not bad for the first year. How’s your sister?”

“Tired. You guys both work in the medical field, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he leaned against the entryway, “Gotta provide somehow right?”

She mumbled another yeah and grabbed a spatula. The brownies came out slowly. As she stacked them she asked,

“How’s he been?”

Jeff let out a small sigh. Uh oh. He walked over and grabbed a holiday themed paper plate for her to put them on. The girl looked up at him in concern.

“He could always be better.” Her heart sank. “Doctors haven’t been much help, though.”

“Well, you know I’m always around if you two need anything.”

He waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, you’re so young. I-it’s not your job. You being here is enough.”

“Still…” She mumbled. A red and green disc floated over the counters to her. The brown pyramid began to take form. They faced each other and sighed in unison. “Has he at least… made some progress?”

“You could say that.” He scratched his head, the bags under his eyes ever more visible in the fluorescence. A few happy shouts came from below. They both flinched. And then they laughed, humored by the other’s reaction. Solemnity brought them to silence. 

He felt sore when she hugged him around the middle. Jeff flinched at the contact, relaxing after another second. One of his shoulders gave a stiff pop. _ Awful lot of hugging today, _Jamie thought. She decided not to linger.

“You’re doing a good job, Jeff.” She said. “He’s healthy, and he seems happy and whatever else you’ve got going on, I’m always here to talk. You guys did the same plenty of times for me.” Jeff didn’t do much else but offer a halfhearted smile. He looked rather defeated in fact. As though a barrier of sorts kept him quiet. She couldn't quite put her finger on the faint vibrating noise she heard when he sighed. Like he was talking to her from inside a spacesuit. But he smiled, and she smiled back. There was nothing else she could think to say. 

He took all the gifts in while she set out the fudge pyramid. She was glad to help out, happy to see Alex reach over and try one. When he patted her arm again, she smiled and followed. 

From the stairs came a loud noise and a thunk of something against the steps and then the wood. Alex looked expectantly at the wall that blocked the view of the stairway. A brassy voice shot across the room and strained Jamie’s ears.

“Didn’t have a karaoke machine, my ass. Jeff got this damn thing like three years ago, how did anyone forget?”

Jeff walked toward the door and said to it,

“That was before Mom hid it from us. And for good reason.”

“I’m still deaf from Ace of Spades, Ev.” Said Vinny, walking over and dragging a shorter boy in by the bill of his cap. He cackled and brought in a dusty old karaoke machine made of red and blue plastic. The wires fell around his ankles and he strode into the living room looking for something. His eyes stopped on her. 

Jamie studied him as discreetly as her own eyes allowed, as she’d done with the rest. (Not that he gave her the same level of tact but she didn’t mind.)

Not tall but not small either. Unremarkable at first glance but she followed his eyes like her life depended on it. Some part of her wondered if it did. They were the most intense, striking pair she’d ever seen. Like gray rocks and sea foam at the foot of a seaside cliff. Agates in the shadow of his ugly cap. He held them farther back in the hollow shelves of his high cheekbones, surrounded by dark under eyes. Unkempt brown hair framed the unshadowed scape of his narrow face. His lips were full and pink. He was fucking jacked too, at least by college standards. The black reptar shirt he was wearing strained against his arms like his skin against his biceps. _ Striking _, she thought. 

She offered a smile and a wave.

He looked her up and down.

“Jeff? Who’s this?”

Jeff opened his mouth to reply. She answered for herself.

“Hi. Jamie Dawson. I’m Alex’s friend.” Jamie held out her hand. He smiled at her. His handshake was firm and calloused, albeit hesitant. Her fingers felt warm.

“Evan Jennings. Nice to meet ya, Jamie.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

Someone nudged her arm. “Evan is the best friend I was talking about before.” Alex said. Jamie figured.

“Oh yeah, we three’ve been buds since high school.” Said Evan, walking back toward Jeff. He clapped him on the shoulder. Jeff crouched down to accommodate him. “You filling her in on all the big brother lore, Al?”

“I guess.” The boy smiled. “She doesn’t really need it for Jeff as much as everyone else.” Alex seemed happy to finally see the guy. They had to have gotten along pretty well then. And a friend of Alex’s was a friend of hers.

Jamie bumped against his arm, grinning back. “Well, I appreciate the welcome. I’m really just glad to see this goof again. It’s been forever.” He chuckled at her, giving her arm a tiny squeeze. She returned it, noticing Evan’s staring. It wasn’t easy to ignore.

“So… are you guys a..?” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “No, Evan--”

“Aww it’s okay, nothing wrong with sharing the love Al. I’m proud of ya.”

“Great,” he replied, “but we’re not like that.”

She agreed, shaking her head.

“Cuz’ he talked about you like all week.” Oh she didn’t doubt it. “My friend this, my friend that. Just never caught on he meant a girl.”

“Yeah, we used to get that a lot in high school,” Jamie admitted. “Well, _ I _got it. Don’t know if anyone still asks about that anymore. Do they?” Her friend shrugged. “But y’know, I’m older than him and we’re just really good friends.” 

Perhaps if they’d dated when they first met, there would have been _ some _potential but she never felt anything romantic toward her dear friend. And neither did he, she assumed. At the time, Jamie had been obsessed with someone from her english class. It happened that Alex had always been happy to listen. Much like her brother, who knew not to interrupt her between rants and musings. She found them very similar. Besides, personal feelings aside, she knew far too much about Alex to try dating him.

It was easy to see why people would wonder. Any girl/guy boundaries they had were practically nonexistent when it came to each other. As she hated to admit it, Alex was her only consistent source of affection and she was damned if she’d give up one of her few sources of light. Closeness was their normal, and questioning it was fruitless.

“Not dating,” Alex stressed, “Seriously.”

Evan shrugged with his hands upturned, feigning innocence. “Alrighty. If you say so, bud.”

“Seriously.” 

Jeff flicked Evan upside the head and sent him into a fit of lighthearted laughter. He pushed the taller boy away and turned to walk over to the couch.

“Okay! Damn. You’re not a thing, Al. Got it. Nice meetin’ you, Jamie.”

“Hey, you too.” She replied, nodding his way. 

Alex watched him leave with a frown. Jamie nudged him to relax. His shoulders eased. He motioned for her to follow and together they disappeared up the basement stairs.

They spent a while playing video games, the only indication of passing time being the steady whir from the dust-ridden wii console. It sat at Jamie’s ankle and occasionally burned her shin as she fidgeted and reeled in Alex’s chair. Squished next to her was Alex, hunched over and clicking like a madman on his remote. His long ass arms kept elbowing her in the ribs, for which she would push him back against the other side of the chair and cut his kart off on rainbow road.

Jamie asked if he’d eaten. _ No, _came the distracted response. Soon enough she’d dragged him back downstairs to get more sweets, and watched from the basement computer’s desk chair as his brother’s friends tossed a camera around. Steph had to have gone upstairs. Alex walked through them toward the tree. Following it’s journey from hand to hand, she recognized the camera as the one from the table.

It was interesting to see them weave about each other. Like well oiled cogs in a complicated machine. Moving in perfect sync. They might not have noticed from their vantage but Jamie had never seen a more artful game of camera-monkey in the middle. Someone handed Vinny a beer, which he swapped out for the camera, which made its way to Evan who made faces at its lense. All in the span of four seconds. _ Quite the wallflower tonight aren’t we? _She thought, laughing to herself. She wondered if she should go join them or at least sit on the couch. It’d be better than watching from the sidelines, waiting on Alex. But… she didn’t want to interrupt. Which was stupid because they’d all already sat down. It didn’t feel right.

Vinny was walking her way.

“Hey! Jamie!”

She raised her head and smiled. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Uh, I’m gonna be filming something for our channel really quick, do you wanna say hi after I’m done with the intro?”

An opportunity to get back in on the fun.

“Sure. Sounds cool.” Jamie replied. “Do your thing, man.”

He grinned and turned to face the wall behind her, another wall at his back. He started to film and Jamie’s mind wandered again to whatever Alex was doing. He came through Evan and Jeff to give her a cookie, sitting at her legs. He probably wouldn’t stay long but she thanked him and ate quietly, tuning in to Vinny’s intro.

“...I did have the security footage, I found it on the hard drive, and I incorporated it into the video. The other two videos that you guys keep talking about, again, you know... we can't see'em. Sorry.”

Her eyebrows knit at that, wondering what sort of intro lead into security camera footage. From her side, Alex watched him speak, nodding along. She considered asking but she didn’t want to interrupt. Like she was an extra here. Wasn’t she though? Again with the wallflower business. What was going on with her tonight?

Jamie realized that she was feeling out of place.

It was an unfamiliar feeling. Probably why she hadn’t recognized it before. Every party she’d ever been to she had no problem inserting herself into a conversation, Alex could vouch for her there. Under more common circumstances she would have been overjoyed to spend her Christmas Eve with new friends. Under more common circumstances she’d be thriving in this merriment, jingling a store bought jingle bell in the air to the quiet music without a care. There were drinks, and video games and gifts being shared and mocked and appreciated and she was… in the background.

Whatever was holding her back she couldn’t explain. Like it’d be too personal. The closeness of the people around her must have been throwing her off. It was a genuine, and safe closeness, bonding these strangers and familiar faces like super glue. Jamie hadn’t experienced a closeness like it with anyone but her family and, of course, her reason for showing up.

Speaking of the happy bastard, across the room from her view of the couch, she watched a camera wave into Alex’s smiling face. When had he gotten there?

“Alright, everybody say hi!” 

Vinny crossed the room. Jeff tossed him a present, which he dropped. They laughed it off, continuing a game of catch until he caught it. “We’ll do it again, we’ll cut it out again.” He caught the present, holding the camera at an awkward angle. “Oh look at that.”

Her eyes stayed trained on the space of air Vinny’s shoulder had been in, the pattern staying imprinted into the space even after he’d left it. As far as she could tell, he’d handed someone something and someone had crossed her vision toward the stairs. 

“Hold on if we’re handing out gifts where’s, um, where’s Steph?”

Her brain didn’t register this as very important, thoughts of being introduced suddenly having left her high and dry. She kept her eyes on the wall now, wondering about this feeling of being… the spare. _ God, so fucking dramatic, _ she criticized, but a piece of her almost asked to be left aside. As though the spirit of complacency had stolen Christmas’ seat. Her heart have a reproachful tug at that, restlessness and her biley spite rising to say, ‘ _ Get ahold of yourself. Go sit with your best friend.’ _ She did _ want _ to; she’d made that abundantly clear. 

And yet. Well, she wasn’t sure. The wall didn’t offer her anything but it was as though the unfamiliar displacement was alive. It retaliated against her efforts to move. Like an NPC, stuck in the limbo of disuse. Waiting to be interacted with. The spare. The extra. And for many more moments, she remained in limbo. 

Until someone crossed her vision once more, closer this time.

“Hey, we’re all opening presents.”

Her eyelids stuttered, booting back up. Any indication that she was or had ever been idle vanished.

“Sorry?”

Those eyes again. Too close. They were incredibly close, leaning down to get a better look. Evan blinked and rubbed his nose, gesturing toward the tree. 

“We’re opening presents,” he said, “I assumed you wanted to know?” She nodded, rubbing at the back of her head. Hesitating. 

“Dunno, I figured I’d wait for uh, Alex.”

“Well, we don’t bite just so you know,” He held out a hand. She studied his eyes. They shifted from her to the tree, excited. There were little sparks of white behind them that wanted to join his friends. “Go join him if you want. No one’ll fuckin care. It’s Christmas Eve!” 

She… smiled. And she wasn’t gonna leave him hanging. Their palms connected and she got to her feet to join them. Jamie looked one last time at his eyes.

Jamie fell still. 

There was a spark. Metal on metal against the very grains of her skin. The grooves of blood that separated flesh from bone, they tensed like they’d never tensed before. An invisible electric current zapped her entirely still, rigid with something as palpable as fear and real as rain. A churning, almost painful feeling started in her head. Those eyes held her own by the stalks with intensity. She couldn’t move for a moment, holding steady against the rocky tide of his stare. Crackling with pure energy that boiled and fizzed. They were all she could see.

For a moment, Jamie thought to look away. Like she’d done something she shouldn’t have. A very small, adamant piece of her said if she kept doing what she was doing, something would change. It urged her again and again. It was a feeling that ached like a muscle, a sensation as insistent as the strain of rolling your eyes too far back, or trying to touch your toes against the better judgement of your hamstrings. _ Don’t do it, you’ll regret it. _ As though she had a choice. She was a captive. Held by a pair of eyes in a skull she hadn’t known more than sixty seconds. Impossibly, only one of those had passed since.

She felt dizzy, and cold, and changed all at once. That part of her still working wandered helplessly about her body for _ what. _ Whatever on earth was killing her from the inside out. Not he, not they, not this awful tearing biting swirling frenzy now flowing like lava at speeds hitherto unknown. Something dormant, now awakened. Her heartbeat rose its voice over the quiet staredown, splashing hot blood over and over against the thin walls of her ear drums. Most of all against her brain, which only worsened the churning. She dipped farther and farther into pure, unadulterated _ focus _ . Like she was being distracted. Distracted, and focused? Redirected. Redirected to continue. _ Keep going. Don’t look away. _A new demand. Louder and louder until even her neck grew hot. Her skin burned. The unpleasant image of fizzing appeared once more in her mind; at least, the small bit that was unoccupied by strain. She felt her pulse quicken and shudder, chilling every molecule in her body with a feverish, full-body hot flash. Somewhere around them, an air horn screamed.

It all stopped. Evan jumped at the noise and their hands came apart.

She pitched against him at the tug of splitting and once more against the desk. Her throat felt dry. She had somehow forgotten what for.

“Jesus.” Said Evan. Somewhere far off, Vinny echoed his expletive.

Entirely unknown to both participants and any lingering third parties, this interaction would be key in the orchestration of the tapestry comprising the party-goers’ lives. Some predestined, others tied up in neat knots. But the final acknowledgment of the foreign string sealed the tapestry in waterproof caulking, everything finally laid and incapable of being untangled. The new act could begin.

Jamie looked around for the noise’s source and noted Jeff’s air horn. She went to smile at the gift to Evan, finding he’d gone to Steph with a jokey grin. They met in a hug and walked to the other side of the room. They looked lovely together. And now that she noticed, her old friend looked lonely.

Slipping discreetly between Vinny and Evan’s new present discussion, Jamie joined Alex on the couch. Her nose buried itself in the warm crook of his elbow. He accommodated without question, wrapping an arm around her head to use as a pillow. In return, he used her head as a chinrest, watching Evan unwrap his gift. Watching Daniel narrowly avoid getting stabbed. His laughter was loud against her ribs.

“Oh hey, almost forgot.” Jamie raised her heavy head. “HYBRIDS, this is Jamie. Say hi, Jamie.” Down the barrel of a camera, she saw herself sitting with her friend, smiling a goofy lopsided grin. It was impossible not to smile and wave.

“Hey there! Nice to meet you.”

She felt fine again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> Writing this certainly took less time than I’d estimated and I’m glad it did. A month to write a 543-something chapter is a cool new milestone for me! Glad to finally post this too. I wanted the update to be a little special ;D
> 
> Anyway! Next chapters gonna pick up on the action and, with luck, we’ll meet two more familiar faces. Again, feel free to leave comments or criticism! Happy holidays!!! (update dec25.19)
> 
> \- :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Fun fact, this first chapter has been a year in the making because school kicked my teeth in and I completely forgot the whole thing I existed until a week ago. And tbh it shows lmao
> 
> So I hope this is well received by the starving fandom because it’ll be a miracle if I get the next chapter done by the end of the month. Feel free to post any comments or questions you have. I’m always glad to hear from readers. Have a nice day, and thanks again! (update nov8.19)
> 
> edit (nov27.19): sorry for the lack of main character interaction I promise we actually meet people soon!
> 
> \- :)


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